The day I had this intuition

Sammu is standing next to me and –[]wan]t to= take control of the keyboard while I fight back…few of the keys are missing from my keyboard and not sure what will be the status in few more months ( Days!).

Today has been a day of thoughts…The day I had this strong intuition that its gonna be the Dday..It was Sep 21st, Wednesday and I was taking my usual walk after dinner…This was my routine from past few  months and I was due anytime for delivery…I just called my mom and spoke to her casually updating my day . I told her that while I was taking the walk, I strongly felt that it’s time for me to be prepared…As per the due date I still had 4 days, but I had this strong hunch that am gonna get my hint anytime tonight. I had absolutely no pains, was feeling very normal physically, the kicks were normal. I slept with a sense of excitement, unble to realize the slow contractions (one per hour)…I was unable to turn sideways due to heavy tummy and I knew it was “TIME”, as the contractions increased to one per 30 mins. I tried to take a walk as the pain was every 15 mins ,  I didn’t want to wake up hubby at that hour. It was intolerable with every 5 mins and with that fear mixed with a happiness, I woke him up so cheerful that its time for me to take my bags and head to the hospital. The usual uncomfortable procedure ( I dread that) was done to confirm it was Labour. I cried in pain for next 6 hrs, as they monitored and finally took me to the L.room. I was so determined and strong to have a Normal delivery that I kept praying I have the strength to push my lil one out. I loved the moment of seeing him anytime Versus the increasing pain to push, while the nurses did their job making me dread this every again!

It was a disappointing moment when the doc said they can no more hold on, as I was losing strength, seeing me sweat and rushed me to C-section and everything else blank…..only to hear minutes later “It’s a son” in my half conscious state.

My journey from here….Feeding, potty cleaning, sleep deprivation and the Struggle due to unawareness….. in my next post.

My lil one's activities

Celebrated Sammu's B'day last month and it was a superb evening. I personally had loads of fun meeting people, distributing gifts, carrying the lil one around and showing him off :) He wore a FabIndia Kurta and I was totally zapped with how handsome my lil boy looked and as a mother, kept looking at him wondering how fast time flies !!! He is a Year old, goodness!!!! I still remember my contraction pain and the delivery trauma...
 Though; the party was Not-so-good for my son since it got claustrophobic for him, but he behaved very well unlike Namakarana! Thanks to my lil gunda for being such a NICE momma's boy.

Day by day; His activities surprises and at same time put me off for all the running around. Exactly a year and a month old, his accomplishment are growing and varying every minute.

Sammu has started to walk without any support...though just few steps, yet a TREAT to watch him put those tiny steps and those small feet trying to balance, his eyes looking at me and expecting that encouragement to call him near me....This one milestone has washed away all the regrets of me "Not-working". Its another beauty which has given me unconditional happiness. Its the best moments of a motherhood and am sure any mother would vote for this.

Sammu loves running to Bathroom and play with water...now, what he most enjoys is me stopping him from going...This is how it works...We are together in room, playing..At one point I look at the phone (or) any work /talk to someone, there is takes that as a good chance to rush till the bathroom door and waits for me to look at him..The moment I look at him and scream, his catches that moment of joy and rushes towards the bucket... his screams are so cute, while he taps his feet with joy when the water sprinkles on him, looking at me to join him and I end up playing with him for atleast 10mins. Maybe this is the definition of "BLISS!!!"

He talks in his own language, paaaa, thataaaa, baaaa and so on...he can go on and on; enjoying himself and those meaningless words are so cute and double cute....

I ensure to take him out atleast once a week for coffee or lunch, so he gets to come to new places and get to meet my friends...he seems to be enjoying and knows amma needs to have some time out. I try to make it as much as engaging but personally love when he sleeps on my lap, which I enjoy my Pastas and Wine:)

Lunch with Vini and Neha at Toscano last week was one of the best times I have had....

Something which I wanted to pen down, for my self...
I have never left my son and gone out till date. As much as I would like to have some "ME" time, I have no choice to just leave him and somewhere am getting a feel that will reach a stage where he will not be able to stay without me. I might not like this since I would definitely need that independence and from him too.I wish to refrain back to my dreams once he is old enough to understand and agrees to let me go out for what I want to do....

got sometime tonight to read my friends blog and am loving loving it....
I wish to make more time....

Cheers

added my lil one in my blog :)

Got some time this noon to take a look at my blog....Was dissapointed with its look, untouched feel for long...I pepped it up with my baby's snap in it...welcome back to our world !!!!

Enjoying every bit of sleepless hours, feeding, cooking for gigee, taking him out for walks, shopping for him, cleaning the potty, bathing him ....I must admit with all the things we have been doing, the best and most content feel was "to put him to sleep"!!! Its not easy but the minute he sleeps on my lap, i just hug him tight and feel so beautiful..I always say its the best moments of my lifetime!!!!

Hope to get time for more....
soon we are celebrating his one year b'day!!!!

Cheers
Mommmyyyy

Gigee learns to CrAwL

EKKSSS, its like am Crawling all over the house!!!
Its just been two days, my lil one has learnt to crawl and there is just no stopping him.....and ME who has to be there and watch him!
He loves everything and anything on the floor and just reaches in seconds to grab them or go and hot his head...This leaves me no choice but to run along with him ensuring he doesnt hurt himself and at the same time he enjoys his new skills!!!!
Love u Gigee for all the fun moments and am so sorry if I raise my voice when am "Just done" with all your nonsense....

I have this deep urge to feed him all the time and try varieties so he can relish. I have my own boundaries at home and hope to introduce salt and rice soon....

My fav moment with my lil one is when he is just about to sleep on my Lap and those many kisses I plant on him so he can sleep well..he has a faint smile on his face, eyes closed,  innocent, so unconditional, so beautiful and thats when I feel "ITS ALL WORTH IT"....nothing has ever made me feel so beautiful than this phase and so that makes me huggg him so tightly before put him on bed !!!!

Off to mommy's place t'row and a day and have back to back function to attend on weekend...so that will be fast ...we have planned a special occasion for our lil one...as a part of the ritual, we shall be taking him to the temple sunday morning and he will be Lil boy "Bodu" on that day :) Am waiting to see my bodu Gigee with no hair....

Meeting Vini

Surprising that Vini messaged " Lets meet this Sunday".....We have been the best buddies for over a decade, from having morning coffee until evening snacks at work to meeting every weekend, shopping, crazy talks ( Lovey moments with this girl must say!!!) ..Just like the best Girl frens!!!! Over years, it changed and my Bad that I had family commitments and we could hardly meet..Thanks to Phone, we ring up each other everyday....I always feel its not been the same, since we hardly meet....hmmm

Back to my topic, we Met last Saturday for coffee at Costa Coffee. Its mid-way to her workplace and my home; so its easy for me to commute with Gigee...I was so bloody excited, just the thought of meeting her...My usual irritation about few things at home just vanished, I was sooper cool feeding gigee and kept telling him that we are going out in the evening, something nice was running inside me...(hehehe)

I was worried I had not done my eye brows, managed to wash my hair, kept checking my tee's...Same for Gigee, kept a nice tee and shorts!!!! I could not apply kajal, due to dust allergy in my eyes  :(

It was an evening, so REFRESHING!!!! We picked up coffee, walnut cake and sat to talk...It was simple, nice, playing with Gigee, light, just Nice!
loved it!

Am not myself .....these days

Well its Saturday noon and a bliss to have good home cooked lunch ( Hot!); I included my fav aloo fry in menu so I can do complete justice to my tummy....By the time I completed cleaning kitchen; It started to drizzle out, while I cuddled my lil boy and put him to sleep..Habit; I always read a book, while he gets into deep sleep....cozzyyyyy

Two things I love - Cooking and reading has almost come to a stop still due to my busy schedule being a mom and the lil time I get;  make me a lazy one..I have been giving reasons to myself from past 3 months yet unable to get back to do things .....Slowly m catching up and should give me a slight relief.

Two incidents today made me feel that am not MYSELF, rather trying to be someone else so things are at Ease..That brings bck the topic what I hate about myself, that I give up easily to manage peace and end up pleasig someone else which only leaves wrinkled forehead since all way am cursing myself for being someone else WHICH AM NOT! The target was my hubby and definetely not liking what has passed. I had to speak things which I didnt mean nor wanted to... I need to put in some strong thoughts into my head that I need to stop THIS ACT....I had to make time to write this, since this exercise has always given me that space to think - express- decide and feel better....

As a part of the routine, we shall dine out tonight..Last weekend was at ROYAL ORCHID and N&G treated us! iT WAS FUN AND love that place!!!!!

Must Mention, I attended my school fren's wedding the other day( Very unusual of me) and was not even sure if he will even recognize me..Contrary turned out to be very pleasant and felt such unusual and unexpected things gives a nice feel!!!!

Relaxingg...

Relaxing after a long time....its a rare I get to sit and wonder "what do I do now"....Am so so so so so very looking forward for such "What do I Do" kinda....

Work from home is completely outta question, since am so busy and do not get enough of playing with him,,,Now that Gigee is 7 months old, he needs more EnTeRtAiNmEnT and I need to start looking for newer things to keep him on toes....Love his movements and lil boy tries hard to move and catch those toys in front of him....Days are just moving wih the flow, yet I miss something I really want to do...

6 months...

Yes, My son is in his 6th month and life is so much busier...As much as I love being a mom and nursing my cute lil boy "Samrudh"; I long for some ME TIME. Its CrAZY all 24 hrs with him and somehow his sleep time keeps me busier and i keep checking as to when will he wake up and start showering those lovely smiles and giggle and am back to life and action....

I can't believe that I never used to be fond of kids and here I am love being a MOM soo soo very much and just cant do without my lilboy....I would like to start writing more about him; but its the TIME which is a challenge :(

few things about my lil one....

> We call him Gigee at home and its a name we have been calling him from the time he was a fetus...

> Gigee is choo choo cute with lovely dimples when he smiles...I love the tender skin like crazy and keep pulling them and planting those infinite kisses all time ( When hubby is not watching)

> Gigee is very fond of his Joli ( Cradle) and just cant sleep without Joli...

> Gigee started to roll on his tummy and back from his 6th month ( I was waiting)..He rolls over and starts inspecting all around....I can't express how cute he looks and always wish he never grows up...

> Gigee loves Milk, Cerelac, fruit milkshakes and new addition boiled and mashed Carrot

> He loves to step out and all smiles when he looks around the greenery, cars, people around ( like his mom)

eeksss, am typing so fast..Need to stop and catch up on my Lunch before he wakes up...I hate this since am unable to express properly...

But.....Love u my boy..U r the best thing to have happened to me darling

me and my Lil one

Cant think of anything else...Its almost like life has taken a total turn and into a new road which completely defines a new ME and the only role am playing is "MOM"....

Even to freshen up and demand for that hot cuppa depends on what my lil one is upto...if he needs me, then I don't even keep track of time, my bed is not even done until noon, talking to him and feeding is all I would have done but that itself takes away half my day and changing the nappy is my expertise now!!! I catch up on newspaper when he takes his short nap in the morning and grab breakfast while he bathes.....Lunch is when he is playing with amma and with half mind look at him and eat whats in plate...by noon is when am so much done and muscles aching and he is the most active one demanding all my attention...we take a walk together in balcony and the soft breeze puts him to sleep while I debate whether to go to bed with him or catch up on other activities...I would have loved to read a book or clean my wardrobe, call my fren or even drive to my fav coffee joint, check FB or just useless talk with hubby but none happens really....i do rest my back for soemtime and soon hear him calling me in his own language and am all up to the feed...he looks at me, eye to eye, smiles and those lovely dimples just gives way to loads of happiness and a beautiful feeling which I have never experienced...am Back all energetic....

The kids in the apt are back from school and they form my new set of frens...evening is when I take my lilone to watch these kids play and while they relax taking breaks from their running and screaming, I start my questions..I ask and they answer right from School, studies, games, projects, dance, hobbies, homework, clothes, fashion, teachers..name it and I would have asked..Its the MOTHER in me, that has started to dream about my lil one growing up..the kids answer me with so much interest and extra details that am so much in love with bringing up Gigee!! With many questions to ask t'row and many dreams for my lilone,I shall sign off..time to feed Gigee and hit the bed.....

LOVING MOTHERHOOD!!!!

New Year..WELCOME 2012!!

Yes its 1st day of 2012 and in the evening am relaxed sitting next to my lil one, feeling somuch at ease ( which is usually not ME)...
There are train of thoughts which I want to pen down so will just go with the flow.....
First wishing my blog friends great 2012...do what you feel like and enjoy life to the fullest...
I have lost touch on many posts and need to spend some time on it before I lose track!!!

It was a nice beginning of day1, with Gigee not troubling me much and infact conversing with me in his own language for a long time and dutifuly his morning nap...wished family and close frens....it was simple food at home...its a time to remember for ages since its with my parents, my sis, TINTIN and my lil one at home..Hubby is traveling back home from his short trip and we missed him soomuch..best part being Neha visiting us in the evening and taking us for a drive...My lilone loved her company, listening to her sing songs, rhymes and her sweet talks...we could not have asked for more...

With hubby not reachable for past 2 days, it was a pleasant feel to get his messages and life rolled back to normal...More than a decade and still cant do a minute without him!

I have ensured to plan my year well, since I would not be working and my Crux of activity would involve taking care of Gigee...I would love to make some spare time and make some productive use and learn something better each day..planning is in progress and will update in this space...

just finished REVOLUTION 2020 and loved it..Though Chetan's books are different( its more Bollywood types ) from the other one's I still like it...

Thats the highlight of the day....