Health went upside down from past 2weeks and have been traumatized the way am unable to mentally have clout over my physical challenges on being ‘just Fine’.. There’s not gone a minute where I haven’t prayed for my normal feel good and expecting nothing more than it. Am craving for my normal food habits to my old self of running around for things at work and those early morning washing of clothes and asking hubby to take me out, even if I find that 10 mins of spare time. I miss the time I spend on deciding my clothes for the day and to chit-chat with friends during my journey and all those a part of my Lovely routine.
Now, is it that am bedridden, for such thoughts to take momentum??????
Oh No, its some issue which will take some time for me to get back to my old self and me being quite lower on the healthier side, needs loads of nutrients intake and mental stability to gain what I used to be 6 months back. This is almost like a project for me, except that am not feeling too active to make up my mind for such intakes. I have started breathing exercise to make myself feel good but none is helping as of now. Maybe things will take its time to heal, but patience is something I need in abundance along with the effect of tablets and the usual feel that comes attached to your body when you are unwell.
With great difficulty and pleading boss, I took off last week and went to amma’s place. All I did was Sleep and eat and gulp those tablets. By the time I was done, I realized I have hardly spoken to them nor did I do anything which should have been a part of my visit which I so rarely get to do. I only could cry when I had to leave, cursing my lazy head for depending so much on “How-sick-I am” factor rather than making myself better in their presence. Not known when will I get to spend another week with them…
AND, For the same reason missed my cousin’s engagement 2 weeks back and I still whine about the sarees which went unused for the occasion and all the fun with Cousins and keep re-counting my Bad luck on this (as usual)….Now I shall assume this is usual feel for anyone in my place and forgive me for all the crib in this space.
I want to think of nice things that are happening around me, so it adds to as nutrients to my Brain cells and active me physically.
Am thinking of World Cup, warm up game where India won by surprise, amma’s cooking, appa’s early morning messages, tommy watch (?????), talking to hubby before I hit the bed, all the food in the street which is so tempting ( ahhh…) …Ah WAIT..Its only the sleep which makes me feel so good now, so as of now am devoid of all materialistic pleasure and only NEED in life is SLEEP….